“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” Andy Borowitz.
“I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” Henny Youngman
“It’s that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones.” Jimmy Kimmel
“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” Bob Phillips
“The main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” George Carlin
“The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” Johnny Carson