If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
—Groucho Marx
“You know, sometimes you can’t just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.” Dana Carvey
“You know, sometimes you can’t just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.” Dana Carvey
“I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” Woody Allen
“I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” Woody Allen
“I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.” Steve Martin
“I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.” Steve Martin
“I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” Steven Wright
“I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.” Steven Wright
“I am not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Woody Allen
“I am not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Woody Allen
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” Steven Wright
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” Steven Wright
“I cannot smell mothballs because it’s so difficult to get their little legs apart.” #SteveMartin #Quotes #TheStatusQuoth
“I cannot smell mothballs because it’s so difficult to get their little legs apart.” Steve Martin
THE STATUS QUOTH
“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’d be a shortage of sand.” Milton Friedman
THE STATUS QUOTH
“The main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” George Carlin
THE STATUS QUOTH
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” Jon Stewart
THE STATUS QUOTH
“That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.” Bill Maher
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